Pregnancy brings a mix of anticipation, transformation, and profound joy. Yet, this life-changing event can also stir up many expectant mothers’ doubts, fears, and anxieties. 

If you’ve found yourself feeling uncertain about your ability to navigate a safe pregnancy and delivery or feeling a bit unsure about how to have a safe pregnancy and delivery, just remember you’re not alone in this. 

What’s most important is that all these feelings are manageable.

Here’s the good news: when you empower yourself with knowledge, ask the right questions, and focus on your needs, you can shape the pregnancy and delivery experience you want. How about we dive into that? Shall we?

Dealing with Pregnancy Fear

First, acknowledge your fears. Feeling apprehensive about something as monumental as bringing a new life into the world is natural. Everyday worries include the baby’s health, your health, issues during labor and delivery, and how to adapt to being a parent. 

Research indicates that up to 20% of pregnant women experience significant anxiety, often stemming from fear of the unknown (NHS, 2025).

Instead of letting these fears affect your pregnancy, you can take some of the following actions to manage your fears:

  • Educate Yourself: Reliable information is a powerful antidote to fear. Read trusted sources, attend prenatal classes, and engage with your healthcare team.
  • Communicate Your Feelings: Share your concerns with your partner, a trusted friend, or a mental health professional.
  • Practice Relaxation Techniques: Breathing exercises, prenatal yoga, and mindfulness practices can help you manage stress and cultivate a sense of calm.

Understanding that your concerns are valid and taking the necessary steps to address them will surely create a more positive pregnancy experience for you.

Choosing the Right Obstetrician: Your Partner in Pregnancy

One of the most critical decisions you’ll make during your pregnancy is choosing the right obstetrician. This person will guide you through prenatal care, labor, and delivery, hence making their role pivotal to your peace of mind. 

Too often, women feel like just another patient, rather than an individual with unique needs. Building a trusting relationship with your obstetrician is essential for a positive experience during pregnancy.

Always ask them questions relating to your health and that of your baby, their availability during delivery, their accessibility, especially in cases of emergencies or prenatal care, and even their delivery rates. Check out the below questions to ask;

Important Questions to Ask Your Obstetrician

  1. Will You Be Delivering My Baby? Many obstetricians work in rotations, meaning the doctor you see for prenatal care might not be present during delivery. If continuity of care is important to you, ask about their availability and whether you can meet other team members who might step in.
  2. Can My Support Team Be Present? Having a trusted support person, whether it’s your partner, a family member, or a doula, can make a significant difference during labor. Hospital policies vary, so clarify this early to ensure your preferences are respected.
  3. What Is Your C-Section Rate? C-sections can be life-saving, but they also come with risks and longer recovery times. The World Health Organization recommends a C-section rate of around 10-15% for optimal maternal and neonatal outcomes. If your doctor’s fees are much higher, ask them why and how they try to prevent unnecessary surgeries.
  4. What Is Your Maternal Mortality Rate? While it may feel daunting to ask, understanding your doctor’s track record with maternal outcomes is crucial. Discuss their strategies for handling complications such as postpartum hemorrhage to ensure you feel confident in their expertise.
  5. Who Will See Me During Prenatal Visits? Continuity of care goes beyond just providing care during delivery. Some clinics depend a lot on nurse practitioners or midwives for regular check-ups and have little contact with the doctor. Check if this option matches what you expected.

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Dispelling Common Pregnancy Fears

Fear thrives in the absence of information. By addressing common concerns head-on, you can feel more confident about handling pregnancy and childbirth.

Fear #1: “Will My Baby Be Healthy?”

Every parent’s top priority is the health of their baby. While it’s normal to worry, routine prenatal screenings and ultrasounds are designed to monitor your baby’s development and identify potential issues early. Staying on top of your appointments, eating a balanced diet, and avoiding harmful substances can greatly improve your baby’s health.

Fear #2: “What If I Can’t Handle Labor Pain?”

Labor pain is a common source of fear for many women, but you have options. From natural pain management techniques like breathing exercises and water immersion to medical interventions such as epidurals, your healthcare team can suggest pain relief methods to your needs. Discuss your preferences with your obstetrician and consider creating a birth plan to outline your wishes.

Fear #3: “What If Something Goes Wrong?”

Complications during pregnancy or delivery are rare but can happen. The important thing is to partner with a skilled healthcare provider who can identify and address issues promptly. Regular prenatal care and an open line of communication with your doctor are your best safeguards.

Fear #4: “Will I Be a Good Parent?”

Parenting is a learning process. Trust that your instincts, coupled with the support of your loved ones and resources like parenting classes, will guide you. It’s okay to make mistakes; growth comes from experience.

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Building a Support System

Pregnancy is not a solo journey. Surrounding yourself with a strong support system can ease your anxieties and improve your overall well-being. Here’s how to create a network that uplifts you:

  • Engage Your Partner: Encourage open conversations about your needs and expectations.
  • Seek Out Fellow Moms: Join prenatal classes, support groups, or online forums to connect with others who understand what you’re going through.
  • Rely on Professionals: Consider hiring a doula or working with a midwife for additional guidance and emotional support.

Think of your pregnancy as piloting a plane. While you can’t control every factor, you can steer your journey by making informed decisions and partnering with a reliable co-pilot (your obstetrician). Here’s how:

  1. Ask Questions: There’s no such thing as a trivial question when it comes to your health and your baby’s well-being. If something is unclear, speak up.
  2. Stay Organized: Keep a journal to track appointments, test results, and questions for your doctor.
  3. Trust Your Instincts: If something feels off, advocate for yourself. Your voice matters.

Taking Care of Yourself During Pregnancy

Self-care is a cornerstone of a healthy pregnancy. It’s not selfish; it’s essential. Here are some practical tips:

  • Prioritize Nutrition: Aim for a balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean protein. Don’t forget to take prenatal vitamins.
  • Stay Active: Engage in pregnancy-safe exercises like walking, swimming, or prenatal yoga to boost your mood and energy levels.
  • Rest and Recharge: Listen to your body and allow yourself to rest when needed. Sleep is crucial for your physical and emotional health.
  • Limit Stress: Identify your stressors and develop coping mechanisms, whether it’s through relaxation techniques, therapy, or time with loved ones.

Final Thoughts

Pregnancy is a unique chapter in your life, filled with highs and lows, excitement and uncertainty. You can transform apprehension into empowerment by addressing your fears, building a supportive team, and prioritizing your well-being. 

Take the time to enjoy the small moments—the first flutter of your baby’s movements, the joy of decorating the nursery, and the anticipation of meeting your little one. You’re not alone on this path. Lean on your healthcare team, your loved ones, and your community to guide you through. 

DISCLAIMER: The information shared here is meant to inform and educate, not to diagnose or replace professional medical care. For any health concerns or medical issues, always consult with certified healthcare providers who can properly and medically evaluate your specific fertility health situation.

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Sources:

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8715455

https://naitreetgrandir.com/en/pregnancy/health-well-being/anxiety-pregnancy/#_Toc110334191

https://www.parents.com/pregnancy/complications/health-and-safety-issues/top-pregnancy-fears

https://www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/keeping-well/mental-health

https://utswmed.org/medblog/coping-fear-childbirth

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Kim Tillinghast

Principal, Partner

Kim Tillinghast began her career in the banking industry in 1985. She graduated with a degree in Finance from West Texas State University in 1990 and has continued her education by earning her Series 24 General Securities Principal Exam and Certified Plan Fiduciary Advisor (CPFA™). Shortly thereafter she started her brokerage career at a traditional wirehouse in downtown Los Angeles, California in 1991. After relocating to Orange County, Kim became an independent financial advisor in May of 1993. She brings over 37 years in the banking and finance industry with experience ranging from designing, developing, employing and maintaining complex investment strategies, Pension Plans, Employee Stock Option Plans, Corporate Finance, Estate Planning and Transition. Outside of her career, she served as Co-Chair of the Dallas County Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure 2013 and 2014 and currently serves on the Board of the Tillinghast Society, Inc. With a deep love for animals, she continues to volunteer for multiple emergency animal response teams including Red Rover, HSUS, UAN, ASPCA and volunteers weekly at the Irving Animal Shelter. Kim also loves worldwide adventure travel and has many amazing experiences visiting almost half of the world’s countries and all seven continents, twice.

Karthik Muraliraj

CFP®, ChFC®, CLU®, RMA®, Partner

Karthik Muraliraj was raised in Fort Worth, Texas, and developed an interest in investing and economics at a young age. After graduating from the University of Texas at Austin with a Bachelor of Arts in Economics and a minor in Business, he started his career as a financial professional in 2008. Throughout his career, Karthik has continued to educate himself by gaining multiple designations. Since moving to Dallas, he has been an active member in the community—volunteering with organizations such as the network of Indian Professionals, Dallas Autumn Ball and Reading Partners. Karthik is an avid sports fan and enjoys supporting his alma mater as a proud member of the Texas Exes Dallas Chapter. In his free time, Karthik enjoys cooking, travel, fitness and spending time with this wife, son, dog, and cat.

Crystal Arredondo

MBA, CDFA®, CPFA™, Partner

Crystal Arredondo was born and raised in Germany. She moved to Texas following her parents’ decision to retire after serving an overseas career in the Armed Forces. Seeing firsthand the difficult transition to civilian life after retirement, Crystal obtained her MBA in Finance at the University of North Texas and began her career as a financial advisor. In 2009, she completed the Retirement Planning Specialist Program at the Wharton School of Business, University of Pennsylvania. In 2018, she earned her designation of Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® (CDFA®). In 2022, she earned the additional designation as a Certified Plan Fiduciary Advisor (CPFA™). As the daughter of an immigrant mother, she especially enjoys helping women and business owners make decisions that affect their financial independence. She served as the 2015-16 Chair for the National Association of Women Business Owners (NAWBO) and 2016-17 Chair for the NAWBO Institute of Entrepreneurial Development.

Philip Strunk

CFP®, CPA, Partner

Philip Strunk is a native of Houston, TX. Philip earned his Bachelor of Business Administration and Masters in Professional Accounting from the University of Texas at Austin’s McCombs School of Business. He earned his designation as Certified Public Accountant (CPA) in 2004 and CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER (TM) certification in 2010. Having started his career with Deloitte & Touche, LLP in 2005, Philip spent a year and a half in Deloitte’s Audit and Assurance Services group and provided a variety of financial services for a number of Fortune 500 companies. He decided in late 2006 that his talent and passion for investments were best suited for working with smaller groups and individuals. After obtaining the required securities registrations and insurance licenses, Philip became a financial advisor. The impact was plainly visible and more fulfilling. Philip serves as the Investment Director for MPACT.

John C. Farris

CAP®, CFS®, Partner

John C. Farris is a founding partner and has more than forty years in both public and private business serving in a variety of management and leadership capacities. John completed the Retirement Planning Specialist Program at the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania earning the Retirement Planning Specialist designation. John and his family have a history of philanthropic giving through numerous non-profit organizations. John recently completed his designation as a Chartered Advisor in Philanthropy® (CAP®). He is also a member of The International Association of Advisors in Philanthropy. His primary goal is to help people give intelligently with love and thereby experience the true joy of helping others. John lives in Park Cities and has served on the Public Works Advisory Council, as finance director of the BSA West Park District, the BSA Troop 82 Executive Board, and as a BSA Assistant Scoutmaster for Troop 82, Dallas, Texas.